were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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