Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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