Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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