I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
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This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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