you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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