I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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