since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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