Christians are straight up FREAKS
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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