just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize