She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize