The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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