you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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