I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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