Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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