Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize