this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Still dying that you shit outside
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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