god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize