That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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