fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize