My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize