I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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