Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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