you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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