She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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