so explain again why im purple
no
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
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So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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