Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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