So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
babies were throwing up all over the place
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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