he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize