You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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