I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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