I wish I could teleport
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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