At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize