Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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