I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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