1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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