i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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