Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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