He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
where are my eyebrows?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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