pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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