Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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