Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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