Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize