dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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