can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize