he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
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the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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