One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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