I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize