omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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