Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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