Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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